Posts tagged Boulder Boogie

No one replaces toilets like Gaston!


Had to do just that this week and it just happened to be one of the upstairs bathrooms that needed it. So do the math and then the lifting: a new crapper had to go up and the old one had to come down.

I’m a big fan of functional muscle.

What’s functional muscle? It’s not pretty mirror muscle I’ll tell you that though training consistently and intensely with caridio-tastic compound exercise routines will leave you looking awesome simply as a by-product. But doing 20 sets for your biceps or 500 crunches a day just so you look good will leave you short when it comes to actual performance.

I always explain it like this: Sure, you can sit at the leg press machine and move several hundred pounds for rep upon rep, and your quads as soooo huge and cut but could you run half a mile, scale a ten foot wall and then balance across a beam all the while carrying a sack stuffed with a hundred pounds of steel? Basically is all you do flex and look showy or could you run into a burning building to rescue someone, or get out of a similar situation yourself, under your own power?

Spraying on your abs is a cute trick for a con appearance but it means nothing in a life and death situation. I look good in costume because I train to be prepared for what ever might be headed my way for sport or survival.

It was a nice reminder this week then when I hoisted that big dual flush delicately up the stairs and then the old john nimbly down those same twists and turns without spilling a wayward drop. The Boulder Boogie training sucks and hurts but I’ll tell you it pays off in some cool ways. I get older everyday, but I get stronger and faster too. That growth’ll probably slow down someday but maybe it won’t. Maybe I won’t let it. 

No one ages like Gaston beeyotch!

One step closer…and nothing’s broken yet!


Two months of Boulder Boogie training is now gone just like that. It’ll be January and the Highland Games again before I know it but I know I’ll be ready. Took 125# for a walk between seven and eight hundred feet last week and it wasn’t too bad. Tons of protein but not enough sleep as of late thank you ALIENS: Colonial Marines. At least in a few days Gears of War: Judgment comes out so…wait…shit…I’ll sleep again in May or something.

Despite the Sandman, I’m staying healthy and eating pretty clean and keeping any crud out there at bay. Probably due to bourbon, vodka or a combo of the two. Ramped up workouts haven’t hurt either. Still winded and beat up by the end of them all but I’m improving in strength and in speed. Ergo in power.

So last night was this:

1 300′ lap with 100# +

3 pullups +

5 dips +

7 pushups +

9 sledgehammer slams on the tractor tire +

A Handstand

10 rounds

Took about 45 minutes to get done. The point of having two precision moves at the end of each round should not be lost on you. Time was I couldn’t do a handstand even fresh but now with consistency I’m able to hold one even after lots of other taxing things have been done. Of course the threat of bashing the ground ungloriously with my face is a great motivator but I’d have never gotten there at all had I not pushed myself into the challenge.

The Boulder Boogie is ruled mainly by pure muscular expenditure but with forethought and focus you’ll get farther than someone who left that out of their training. Getting mad-dog mean is great, it’s necessary, but that’s berserker rage and the longer you can hold off seeing red the farther you’ll go whether you’re running, rowing or lugging some ornery rock around a well tread field.

And tire slams and handstands require you to focus through the exhaustion, lightheadedness and ever present voice in the back of your skull screaming “slow down or, better yet, just quit!” Hulk like force is awesome until you’re wielding a ball of steel on the end of a stick and you realize that if you let your mind wander you could end up taking out your tibia.

Precision in the midst of power is my precious. And I wants it. Figure out what you want and go after it too. You’ll be better for the chase.

P.S. I also want to be Daredevil. Have a nice day.

Building the Perfect Beast


Putting something together here. Piece by piece, stronger and stronger. More running with more time coming off my miles which stand around 7:55 per at the moment. Of course speed isn’t my only desire. Speed plus strength AKA power is my craving. Too fast or too strong by themselves and I don’t give two shits. Power is where it’s at. So in between running days some weighty matters were attended to:


6 tractor tire flips + 6 pullups + 600′ of 90# carried in my arms.

(as many rounds in 15 minutes as possible: I scored 3)


This wasn’t as easy as I figured it would be. Which is fine. During a workout I talk myself constantly into pushing harder and generally not being a pussy. As soon as fatigue and/or pain sets in the pussy wants to come out but it’s at every one of those moments that you need to gather your faculties and hold it together.

Know you’ve got it in you to accomplish whatever it is you set out to do even if you bit off more than you can chew.

One focused thought leading to one intense action over and over and over again chain together devastation for anything standing in your way.

If you can’t feel it, maybe you’re dead



5 rounds of 5 pull ups + 90# carried at the chest for around 300′


More rocks and more rollin’ yesterday. Faster and more efficient than last time. I thought it was getting easier till my wife Angie reminded me that it’s not. But I am getting stronger.

Piss and vinegar I suppose.

Many moons to go fore I carry the boulder around in competition but I’ll look at this day as one small accomplishment. More distance and more weight. Lots more to go, but all in time. Consistency is the key in any endeavor. 

You want it? 

Go after it!

Every damn day.

Get up, saddle your horse and ride until the sun’s gone down. Test yourself and the patience of others. Pick up that flag, that rifle, that purpose and fight!

Working out is one helluva metaphor eh? I’m sore and bleeding and bruised quite literally in certain places on my ever aging body but you know what?

I can still feel pain…and strain…and fatigue…and complete exhaustion…ergo I am alive.

I never, ever take that for granted. So I lift and strain and trudge and sprint and hurt and burn. 

And smile the entire I’m at it.


Rock-it, yea-yaah!



Back in the backyard tonight. More weight. Felt heavy (no shit!) at first but I made it through five rounds of the following at a pretty good clip:

2 pullups +

4 pushups +

300 foot walk with 125 pounds (2×45 and 1×35) all gripped to my chest

Light work I know but this was a recovery night after two days of running and some sprints on tap for tomorrow. 5k at EPCOT in three weeks and then running spaces out a bit as all sorts of terrible cross-training ramps up to test me. First I need to make myself a concrete block (or tire!) that weighs about 200 pounds. I’ll take pics when I do.

Should be all dusty and bloody.

And remember, if you can’t carry a huge rock really far you’re probably just not Scottish 😉

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