Posts tagged vodka

I can has Ravage?


Just shot our first live episode of Your Week in G33k tonight and here’s something that didn’t make the cut. Doesn’t mean it’s not cool just that I couldn’t figure out a dick or poop joke to go with the video.

It seems pretty nifty at first but I think I could run that fast too with a few wires shoved up my ass! I guess that counts as a dick and/or poop joke. And this is what you get to hold you over until tomorrow night.


Okay, I can’t leave you that way…here’s Mothra from GenCon.

And if you’re still not satisfied just be thankful you’re not drinking this:

Yeah, saw this in an Indianapolis CVS next to some Dora the Explorer band aids. It was less than $10 for the 1.75 L. Which at that price you might as well just run out into traffic right now and get the pain started because your going to feel like twice hammered shit come sun up anyway. Prolly more cost efficient, and healthier, to just chug some rubbing alcohol. It’s really the guy in the smoking jacking with the walking stick and Ren Faire boots that sells this product. He mocks you. Challenges you to put your liver, nay your whole central nervous system, to the test. Either that or it’s just to make poor people feel fancy about the limited variety of imbibables available to them.

Either way GenCon was a blast as was PAX last weekend. I talk about PAX tomorrow on the show. That and shark boats. Watch it and share it. Like a movie about herpes!



She’s baking cookies

I taste sweet purple vodka

And the words just flow



Many things to pack.
Did I buy enough vodka?
Here comes Dragoncon!

It’s a Piece of Cake to Bake a Pretty Cake


Recipe for a Thanksgiving Weekend that will leave you longing for more:

Begin Wednesday night with Gears of War, throughout the night add as much Vodka as necessary and 2 to 3 microwave burritos when needed.

Begin Thursday morning with a physical challenge of some sort preceded by a light breakfast and a shot of Irish Whiskey. Immediately follow the workout with rough sex before showering and preparing for guests.

Cook and entertain.

Clean up all the crap from cooking and entertaining before going to visit old friends. Watch portions of “Mac and Me” and “ThanksKilling” before trying to find a restaurant that is 1) open and 2) selling something other than turkey and ham. Return back to your friend’s house with a DiGiorno’s pizza and another microwave burrito in hand but not before discussing life and your dreams with your normally emotionally reclusive friend.

Check out “Pranked” and random ghost shows your friend has DVRed before returning home to watch Scott Pilgrim till you collapse.

Friday do nothing but sit around and watch all the shows you haven’t had time to up till now. This includes several episodes of Fringe, ANTM, Stargate Universe and Gossip Girl. You are already caught up on Vampire Diaries because Damon Salvatore is too hard to resist.

Awake early on Saturday and drive due West through such charming little towns as Clermont, Mascotte and Mabel. Arrive at Weeki Wachee and bask in the glow from the only city of live mermaids.

Feed a peacock some of your cheeseburger.

Drive home and take a nap and then get up and go dancing. Said dancing should preferably be to 80’s music. If they throw in new Depeche Mode that is okay.

Don’t forget to pregame.

Buy two rounds at the club, slip out for a slice of pizza at Planet Pizza and then go dance a little while longer to work off the pizza and make room for Steak N Shake.

Drive to and eat at a Steak N Shake. Try their new peppermint milk shake and feel refreshed by the holiday calories.

Sleep at some point. At least for a bit. Then get up way to early and have sex. Then realize you are still pretty tired and the farmer’s market doesn’t even open up till noon so go back to sleep.

Get up and have more sex. Then go to the farmer’s market and buy peppermint and cinnamon honey. Buy palmetto honey too. A big damn jar.

Visit the Spiral Circle and stock up on incense. And get a message or two.

Go to Publix and shop for any groceries you might need.

Come home.

Do stuff.

Have sex again. Yes, for the third time.

Fall asleep and know that life is awesome and you have so very, very much to be thankful for.

Wasn’t I just here?


Yup. Atlanta. For the second time in as many weeks. Not like that’s a bad thing especially when you’re at a con.

More on that in a minute. But first I’ve quickly come to figure out that when I started this blog and started thinking about what I wanted my “voice” to sound like out here in cyberspace that really it was going to change with nearly every post. This isn’t formal writing. I’m not putting together a book (well I am but it’s not this) or crafting some essay for college credit so really the feeling and verve you’re gonna get from here each day is largely dependent on, well, that day. Or night. Or if I’ve done yoga or what Ang is doing or how much vodka I’ve had. I’ll tilt at windmills each day running off after this or that but every moment is gonna sound slightly different than the last. And I’m okay with that.

Well I’m coming to grips with that.

I’m a wordsmith and I can use my tongue to cut or cure right up there with the best so to just sit down and kind of go off all stream of consciousness is difficult at times. Not hard to do but hard to accept what’s ending up on the screen. It’s out of the comfort zone. But a lot of what I’m doing lately is just that. In fact my new mantra is “No Somedays”. In Latin that’s haud cras according to two different translation sites I found online. I guess it’s literally “no tomorrow” but close enough. Know what I mean? Good, I don’t think I do!

See people always say I’ll do this or that or visit here or there or get up or go down someday. The more gray hair that shows up every time I skip shaving for too long reminds me of that fact. “Someday” should be a four letter word. Smdy…there it’s a four letter word and all I had to do was go all Hebrew on it! But smdy sucks because you can wait your whole life for it and it may never show up. It’s like it’s screwing you from the future.

Well I say screw it first. I’ve actually taken to wearing a screw themed necklace to remind me of that fact. Of my mantra. Of the way I want to be from this point forward. I got said necklace in all it’s shiny gold and silver glory at Anime Weekend Atlanta last weekend. It’s from Gurren Lagann, the one the kid wears I think though I’ve only seen a few eps and that was a while ago. The anime’s not important. Why I wanted it and why I wear it is. So I picked it up on Saturday for $12.72. Yeah, I paid tax which I usually loathe in a dealer’s room but it was still the cheapest booth even with 5% tacked on so I let it slide.

Goofy taxation aside I had a swell time at AWA. Wasabi Anime was there to keep things interesting at night and to talk Transformers and enjoy a viewing of Sailor Moon S. Was it S? It had ice ladies and Luna turning human and making out with some tranny looking guy. No shit. I don’t know, I had the perfect amount of American Honey coursing through my system that night. Perfect because I can’t remember the title but I know Tom and I got constant laughs. So I was funny drunk not throw up in the panel drunk.

I could have stood to be a bit more inebriated earlier in the night when a few of us took the time to walk to the ass end of AWA to check out the “Anime Cabaret”. If only we had shown up like 3 minutes earlier we’d have caught Lime Barb’s entire routine which from the tail end we did see, literally and figuratively, was top notch. She’s cute, in shape and a damn fine perfomer. The final three acts we saw after LB were pretty much the antithesis of that. I stood in the back somewhat flabbergasted for the last quarter hour of the event and even rolled out early when the closing number took to the floor. I mean laid down on the stage which is great in a small intimate club but not so much for a packed main events room. You take away the ability to see the burlesque show and you remove the incentive to stay and watch.

Ugh. Wish the Mint Chocolate Chippies had been there. Yeah, I’m biased but I’ve seen them do their shit and seen the crowds go nuts so it’s not just me enjoying the show. Maybe next year huh?

Whatever faults the early part of the evening entailed the MST3King of Serena and pals followed by the not rave helped me to forget any missteps. One of the highlights of the night was when I stepped away from the not rave to pee.

No, that’s not the highlight. After I peed I popped in to see the end of Lensman. Ever heard of it? Probably not ’cause it isn’t spelled A-K-I-R-A. It’s one of the old timers of anime based on an even older series of books and it’s one of the first big screen animes I ever saw. My mom took me in middle school and I still have the shirt I bought that day with Worsel on it. Worsel! Ah it was a bittersweet moment fueled by long ago memories, whiskey, lack of sleep and the fact that there were only 3 other people in the room to catch this classic. And they were all older than me. Damn kids. No respect for your elders.

Well I’ll show them. I’ll go back to the dance and take my shirt off and sing “I’m on a Boat” thanks again to the Croom. And that’s what I did. And that necklace looked good on my svelt sweating body. Hey everything comes and goes man but like a wave you gotta ride it or it’ll just wash you out to sea. Better to get smashed on the rocks riding the big one than to float away and just disappear because you were too scared. It took only 5 minutes for me to span almost the entirety of my anime existence. From something way back in my childhood to an energized room full of folks many who were just a bit older that I was the first time I ever saw Kimball Kinnison. What a feeling.

The whole weekend felt good. Eating Chipotle in Hooters felt good. Running up a wooded embankment ticks and snakes and hobos be damned felt good. Sitting with friends watching free-per-view clip shows while the Lords of Acid played felt good. Finding a Revoltech Buzz Lightyear for Angie felt good. Putting on that screw necklace for the first time felt good.

Now before I go I promised a shout out to Special K. So there…aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! I shouted. And to those two girls…you know who you are…talking all Transformers, dancing your glowsticks off and generally making the weekend that much brighter thanks a ton!

If providence shines on me again next year I will go back to AWA. I’ll probably see something that makes me feel old. And then I’ll take a sip of whiskey and go dance.

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